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Telan lagi

If only anyone has guts to say this on yr face, ya allah aman nya dunia. How selfish kau ni when it comes to you kau nak everything is perfect. Orang macam kau boleh pergi mereput sana


Jangan pelik jangan sedih lah kenapa haters kau ramai, compared to yr friends yg boleh kira guna jari tangan je. Cuba be thankful sikit bila ada lah jugak orang mcm aku ni nak consider stay w you. Ugh stress, aku pun satu hal gak. Keypad warrior je kenapa taknak je tegur depan depan. Blrghh if only dia that kind of person yg boleh terima teguran that would be so nice you see

,,,

You know that moment where you are just so devastated and you are holding back the tears and it feels like an elephant is standing on your chest. That’s about where I’m at, at this point 

I dont know how

Sifat tamak memakan diri. Baru aku perasan sekarang aku takleh nak inhale langsung, aku rasa mcm takde life. Betul betul memakan diri ni. Every single second kat college i try nak lupa everything, busykan diri larikan diri dari masalah skjp. Kalau mcm teringat tu cepat cepat aku alihkan. Tapi bila balik je rumah, bila drive sensorang tu aku teringat, serious tak boleh. Dia datang balik tau. 


Maybe sebab all these while aku keras gila kental hati aku tak nangis bagai. Bila dah jadi camni memang burst gila ah. Sakit sial aku takleh nak describe camne dah. Sakit sbb nangis sakit sebab tak larat sakit sebab penat. 

Kalau boleh melutut merayu sebab nak turn back time, aku buat. Aku janji aku buat. 

Everything is first

Happy 1st december blgger, oh wow serious ke we are damn nearly to 2015, and the end of 2014. Shit gila sumpah cepat. Oh ha ah, i am currently obviously definitely at campus skrg. My first day, everyone. My first day for this 4th semester. I hv a feeling that it 'll be no fun at all i hv that instinct. I ada 6th sense ok. Dah lah classmates sama apa lah masalah coordinater faculty ni pemalas betul, tak dpt i nak cuci mata tgk classmates lain ugh. 





Anyway i was hoping satu class dengan Aina ofcourse. Pfft seddeh. Anyway result was okay, alhamdulillah everything was so fine. Told u, i kat campus skrg, tp still blogging right. NO LECTURES ughh first day kan mmg takde lectures lah, tapi still attendance tu. Kalau lah aku boleh divide kan diri aku into 2. Boleh ah sorang tolong tunjuk muka fr that damn attendance, sorang lagi tolong tidur kat rumah. 

(No title)

So something came up again? 

Akasia sikit

I once thought that bila dah jadik ex ni, mesti we turn to be a stranger. And I heard that a lot like a lot. And then I found myself ok je dengan any of my ex(s) , just ada sorang dua je yang I still cant get along. So nak dijadikan cerita, these lately I had some conversation dgn my ex  tau I was like wow gila weh why we didnt talk before ni it's rlly awe! 

Goals?

Sorry if I never miss you when you were away. I'd used up all my missing on other people. That is why I never made any effort to reach you. I'm so done, and can't live w this annoyance feeling when we had any conversation. Very suxs

In case if you miss me? Hehehe



Admit it, I look fatter than before. Kan

Ouch i'm back

Weh semester break lah!! 




End of chapter 3, wow fuhhh berpeluh banyak sikit ah sem ni, i've been work so damn hard fr this sem. I hv to study hard sebab I tak stay dengan kawan kawan lain just like everyone does. I stay rumah family so I hv no one to discuss-and-study-group with. So masa kat kelas lah pulun habis. Penat weh. Sakit otak sebenarnya





Alhamdulillah fr everything. Alhamdulillah nothing serious ever happen to me sepanjang sem ni. Everything went so well, I'm in love w my own stories. Hahaha nahh actually something came up. But hey I look so damn fine. Chillex








Despair. 

Selamat Hari Raya bloggerland!

Selamat hari raya uguys! Selamat hari raya sorry if i ever did something yang korang marah or i ever wrote something that i shouldnt wrote. Sorry ya? 




Hari raya always be the best day of my life. Every year we celebrate Hari Raya at maksu and maklong 's crib as kitorang takde atuk nenek just like everyone does every raya. But still, it's like the best day of my life to spend my raya w them. Every year. 



And welcome August. Every month seems rlly nice to me, alhamdulillah to The Almighty. Examination is arnd the corner like, a week after raya. Know that is fucked me enough, i can do nothing sebab nak beraya gak en like weh kau tau kan uitm semua melayu semua nak beraya gak, kau fikir ah cane nak study sial. Stress gak duh




I carut too much tak? Maaf zahir batin lah ya kosong kosong ����





Puas pun!


But I just cut my hair! Rip long hair tsk tsk

Why do we curse?

I don't give a real fuck to my blog's design and that suck header and header's name colour and posts' font and everything. I totally such a dickhead and suck at customize my own blog. It's not that i don't know what to design on but i dont have much time to sign in the blog using laptop to do all these stuffs. I use it just to express my feeling not to impress yguys. 

If you think that it's ugliest, or I hurt yr eyes, get off from my page

Pathetic sangat

Semester break gonna be over soon. But who cares? I still kat Kajang je and my timetable gini haa thumbs up okay haha balik around 1 and 2. Ni lah benefits kalau stay rumah hehehe rasa syok je selalu balik tak lah homesick selalu. I remembered how often I balik Kajang sebab homesick and tak selesa sangat stay lama lama kat tempat orang and not on my own comforty bed pastu dengan takde apa nya. And finally, harap harap tak berat. 

They asked me, it must be hard kalau nak study kat rumah kan. No its not. Seriously. Atleast ada orang buatkan air, and bawak masuk bilik foods kalau kita lapar. Atleast ada orang care. I love you mum. I could just stay kat library if nak refer anything to somebody and bila ada gap. Wow banyak nya benefits hehehe

So my birthday is coming over soon!! No i dont expect much, sebab tak semua ingat birthdate pun. Like my bestf pun tanya bila birthdate padahal its around the corner how pathetic. 

Birthday masa first day of the new semester. Mana ada orang kenal kita hahaha kelakar nya. And i'll be quite busy and takde masa w all these stuffs rasa cam tak perlu pun takpe. Alright, till then blog world, happy Semester 3!

Hers




It has been awhile since the lat day we met, we date, we hugged, and we talked. I miss her so much than I miss every important person in this world. I miss her laugh, her story, her smell, her everything and yes, i obsessed w my own gfriend. Hi Acha, finally we met. Youre the most understandable girl ever I talked I chat I share my silly stories with. "I dont need any good adviser, yet, a good listener would make me feel better jugak" but she has both! 




I miss our 2011 cha. I miss it before Zaiha tukarkan kau kelas sebab kau ah banyak sangat cakap. I miss out form 4. It has been 3 years, tp bila jumpa kau lah aku rasa nak meletop mata aku ni. Dok lah aku telan air banyak banyak nak tahan nangis sbb regret lah konon what ive done to you before. And regret lah konon i havent spent time lama lama dgn kau masa kat sekolah since kita dekat je! Tak macam sekarang...




Yknow, i never met someone like you. Haven't. 



U shld be here





Tau tak, bila I update blog. It only reminds me of one person. Aishah. Tapi where r u.

I can't stay




Bosan gila, I noticed yang everyone, semua, membosankan. And I haven't found the right person yang boleh buat aku gelak gila babs yang satu kepala dengan aku, satu perangai, sama interests semua lah. Serious tak jumpa. And everyone lagi buat aku rasa awkward bila dengan diorang, and I can't crazy with langsung sebab wtvr aku buat, they said "Gila lah haha" "Apa ni" "Kenapa bawak dia, malu" "Janganlah" "Heeeey behave!" "Elok elok sikit perangai" Bla bla bla. Takde ke kat dunia ni one person yang boleh fikir boleh tau yang everything I do tu semuanya gurau. And I bukan gila pun nak malukan diri sendiri depan orang ramai. I pun boleh fikir ok. Haihhh susahnya.

'Kita jangan cari orang, biar orang cari kita'



I found one. And I broke her heart. And she changed. Am I the only one who think of her? Wish you read this, Pingpong need you. You know who you are. Rindu you, the only one girl who called me ping pong.

Mixed feeling

Pelik lah, when yr feelings all mixed up. I wonder, kenapa bila I keluar lepak dengan friends even bestfriend sekalipun, tak sama cam keluar lepak dgn sibs. I mean dengan sibs rasa comfortable and enjoy gilaaa even benda tu tak best and boring pun. You got me tak? If yguys ada sibs ramai, and age dekat dekat, you could feel apa aku rasa. Ntah lah, this is something yang susah nak describe. But rasa nak share jugak dgn uolls.

Banyak kali dah perasan, since I stay Puchong lagi I always nak try what kind of person aku ni. Maybe i'm into sibs sangat kot and no one would be this comfortable than my own sibs. So kalau korang rasa nak ajak aku keluar ke, lepak sampai pagi ke, I'm fine. Tapi tak fun ah bcs I would prefer my sibs and I could ajak dorang sebab everyone getting membosankan sekarang hahaha apa ntah diamlah.

Current

Today was so hectic. Tak busy but rasa serabut. By the way, im reading the old posts, rasa hillarious gila doh but I'm glad I did that. Atleast I wrote everything and I rasa and I was being myself. Last 2 days, I soent time w bestfriends, Daeng and Sara and Hafiz. Super tired, Super da boom, and super-kaki-masuk-duri-sampai-sekarang-sakit. 

Semester break gonna be over soon, but I don't care bcs I return Kajang-Cheras EVERYDAY so sama je takde de nak rindu rindu ni. They said, "susah lah nak lepak" "Gi lah cari time yang free bila bila" "Nanti fatin yang selalu tak jadik bla bla" Weh risau diri sendiri je lah. I ni sem break takde nak risau apa pun and next sem pun I still ada kat Kajang apa doh kabut sial

You made it



Tak leh jadik ni

Lepas apa yang korang capai, korang ingat kejayaan habis kat situ je? Belajar ni tak habis, ada beribu tahun lagi kita nak habis belajar. Rendah kan sikit diri tu. Jangan nak judge orang pandai orang bodoh je

Nailed it





I wish i would never look back to the past. And somehow, it's how I live. I looked back, to see how I failed, and how I make it right. To see how can people judge me easily, to know how backstabbers look like. And to know who love me when I failed, and when I succeed. They say, don't look back to the past. But it's how I live. I have to, to move on my life, to go through the colour of my life. 

About you

She is the only one bestfriend yang dah stick dengan I selama ni. And the only one yang never give up on us, yang always trying her best to be the best just to make her parents proud. She is the one yang never less motivated bila ada problem. She is the one yang selalu try her best to contact/facetime bila rasa kitorang lama dah tak contact, eveeeeen masa tu dia busy gila nak mampus. She is the only one yang I kenal, yang selalu utamakan orang lain, before herself. You know who you are.

Tak expect just a single "hi, I baca blog you" boleh stay longer camni. Tak expect, just TER duduk sebelah table boleh stay jadik bestfriend macamni. And the most unexpected part is, tak expect rupanya dia jiran I. I never knew. Nak kata tak exposed kat kejiranan tak jugak.Whateves, finally, i got a bestfriend that sticks w me since highschool. Yknow, highschool bestfriend is the best. Taktau kenapa I cakap macamni. Tapi yguys mesti agree punya. Diorang like, dah kenal kita lama. And dah tau perangai kita. And dah boleh tangkap either kita tengah sedih or tengah happy gila babs. And boleh lepak all night long dengan diorang pun takpe, bcos puas. And tak bosan. Tak tau lah kenapa. No reason why.

Maybe, dia pendiam/pemalu and contra sangat sangat sangat dengan myself. Yang bising banyak cakap tak reti duduk diam and tak tau malu. Memang pun contra. But who ever imagine the content of the book yang korang nampak bosan je, sebenarnya lagi banyak pages and cartoons and colours are everywhere. I'm so lucky to hv her.

Stank

For next semester, I tak stay rental house/hostel/asrama/ rumah dekat dekat kolej/ wtvr yguys called. I'll be ulang alik Kajang-Cheras eeeeeeveryday. Think that it may work. Bcs bila ada gap tu, I'll stay library or anywhere fr study and at night I balik lah rumah. Berat sikit lah jammed and such. Kena gerak atleast 2 hours awal. Especially kat MRR2 tu, but I'm growing old, kena lah independent sikit o:)

So far, Alhamdulillah fr my 2nd semester's result. Alhamdulillah jugak kan 1st sem dulu. Kalau try harder lagi masa 1st sem lagi okay, but sokay, still alhamdulillah. So far stable lagi, should study hard lepasni. Bila stay rumah ni, seronok sikit nak study. Sebab less competitors, and tak rasa down sangat. Insyaallah



Semester Break sucks

It's semester break and bosan gila babz bcs I tak kerja just like everyone does. Tidur makan tidur makan tidur makan and tv. Same routines cam circle tau tak, it keeps pusing pusing pusing and takde ubah pun. And haa, fr weekends I spend my semester break w families fr sure. Bila kakak balik, ofcourse, like every girls do, shopping. And few days before, kakak and I painted our room and we spent 2 days and nights tak tidur untuk siapkan paint bilik and change furns semua. Finally, bilikku kini bernafas baru ngeh ngeh.


And not to forget, jadik maid kat rumah.

End of chapter 2,


What is the most interesting thing ever? 
Yeap semester break! 

What is the most lazy thing ever?
Yeap it's a semester break!





Guys, im on it. What boredom do to me, bosan gila. Mana ada orang nak amik kerja sebulan lebih je tinggal ni haha. But I miss my girls alrdy. So next semester, I return kajang-cheras je as it takes 20 mins without jammed. Insyaallah everything gonna be fine.  Tapi sedih sikit lah part ni bcs tak stay serumah cam dulu ngan housemates. 




So end of semester 2 haritu, habis paper we're off to Port Dickson. Super daboom ok! Sbb tak pernah keluar ngan diorang camni hm complete semua alhamdulillah. There goes a few photos! 






I MISS YGIRLS

Finals, 2nd chapter.

Im having no fun during these finals. And well, nobody ever does. 

Rambut.

Tadi aku main main dengan rambut. Papp satu tercabut. Amati betul betul rambut tu, kerinting dah tak sangat. Tapi wavy tu ada lah. Umm tengok lama lama lagi. Apa aku nak cari pun taktau lah kat sehelai rambut terputus dari kulit kepala tu. 



Stress kot seharian study hadap buku. Tengok, tengok lama lama. Tengok lagi.  Berdebar tiba tiba. Betul ke ni lah sehelai rambut yang dibahagi tujuh lepastu kita kena rentasi kalau nak ke syurga tu? Nipis sangat ni



Berat aku yang hampir 60kg ni tak termampu nak timbang kat sehelai rambut, ni kan pulak dibahagi 7? Wow, sangat wow. Berat sangat dosa aku agaknya. Ya allah, berat sangat dosa aku agaknya. Tapi, aku ulang dosa yang sama, ulang, doa, ulang, doa. Mujur Allah maha pemaaf. Tapi antara aku dan Allah, Dia je tahu betul ke Dia dah maafkan dosa aku. 




Pathetic. Kan? 

I love you, birthday boy



Nothing is more precious than this. Happy birthday the prince of my heart. I love you now and forever. 

6th March, the love of my life 's birthday. I love you now and forever, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back, through black and white, through the worst and the best. I love you and only you. Happy birthday Amir, who can be my love my bro my heart my self my everything. Birthday boy, You are the reason why my heart still beating. You made me feel contented. And to my eyes, youre the best guy. Happy birthday happy birthday amir! ����


I wanna be w you forever. You stare on the other side, yet not blind to the another, thank you for being my other half for almost 5 meaningful years. And i still love you the way you are. Do i rlly sound like im overly attached to my own boyf? Hahaha it's his day. Let's make it real �� Happy birthday beruk maknyeh and thanks fr everything thanks fr what have we going thru together, thanks layankan je this annoying Fatin. Thanks terima i the way i am. I love you birthday boy. Who always there fr me, dari zaman gigi besi, dari zaman tudung kedepan, sampai lah sekarang. 


Happy birthday!!! ��������������

Changes.

Been waiting fr the day where Im gonna change myself fr the better one fr the better life. 

But will I? I mean, can I? Will i still hv a time? And the definite question is, can I achieve that dream? When? Will em come true?


Always be in my Doa


Hv you ever wondered, what if the guy that we're hoping would be ours like forever but it won't be like how it should be? We are planning, Allah decide it. Sampai bila nak stress jadah? Maybe there's a guy yang lagi better that meant to be yours. Hv you ever tried Solat Istikharah? I want to, i really want to, tapi takut haih. I can't even motivate myself haha. Takut what if he is not what it should be? And am I rlly ready fr it? Cis the truth even damn hurt than lies sial lah.